Any space marines that found one of these onboard would die facing the Xynosaur.
#Awesome spore creations movie
Any fantasy movie hero would die facing the Xynosaur.
#Awesome spore creations professional
Xynosaur: Isn’t this thing bad-ass? I’d like to take a moment to remind readers: I should be putting all forms of movie professional out of business with these awesome designs. It’s also true sometimes that dog-sized creatures are scarier than massive city-rampagers, and the Phorrc is the type of fiend capable of hiding under your sink, in your covers, or in your kitchen drawers (with a knife). If that wasn’t enough, a pile of dopey eyes have been replaced with massive knife-like mandibles of danger. While it may be short two legs, it makes up for it with two extra-large claw hands, capable of opening doors and wielding knives. Phorrc: Spiders are pretty scary, I’ll give them that, but improving on the spider proved an easy task for me compared to those buffoons who made Arachnophobia. Wormctus: huge, durable, burrows, eats anything – and its back is covered in cacti! Up yours, Tremors. Wormctus: Giant worm: huge, durable, burrows, eats anything. You don’t even have a movie anymore! Monster they dominate: zombies.Ħ. They’d probably kill your camera crew, eat the tape. Hell, there wouldn’t even be a token black character because they would be dead before the movie even started. They would kill before the power could go out, before the luggage is packed for the road trip, and before that super-tough guy who seems indestructible goes missing. Forty-thousand insane face scavengers could terrorize a village long before a lovable character spills about how much he loves his kids, or the terrible actress with the amazing body removes her clothes. Maybe not one, maybe not two, but try 40,000! In fact, inclusion of Evliches into your horror movie would entirely ruin it because they would kill everything before any major plot points could occur. Evlich: Somewhere between a face-hugger and a screaming demon fish, the Evlich would scary up any movie. It couldn’t even escape into outer space because the Inseptor has wings too. What’s more, as far as super-sized insects go, some bitch like Mothra would choke on its own onion ring breath before taking on Inseptor. You need an army or a nuclear-powered boot sole. A powerful movie with a powerful case of karma! You can’t exactly punch this thing in the face. This gigantic hard-shelled beetle would arbitrarily crush citizens in the order of who stepped on the most bugs in their life. Inseptor Beetle: Those last two may have been gross, but I’d rather face either of them than an enormous Inseptor Beetle ravaging my city. Now, call me bias, but in a blank-face eyeball-hands battle between the Chiiubiss and the Pale Man from Pan’s Labyrinth, I think the Chiiubiss would murder the Pale Man and his entire pale family. Gooey stomach crap is at an all-time high. Chiiubiss: Pardon my language, but what the fuck is this thing? It looks like someone’s insides grew fur and were left in the bath too long. Two long graspers would drag unsuspecting citizens of Everytown USA into its churning bowels, merging them to itself like a hungrier Tetsuo from Akira. Comprised of red flesh-blotches and weird skin, this rolling mess has a creepy sight-less head and spiky innards. Aborhassb: If gooeyness and blobs of whatever are your bag when it comes to horror, the Aborhassb is your Jackie Chan. To prove this fact – and with much humility – I offer you my top 10 Spore creations that would make superior movie monsters:ġ0. I don’t mean to brag, but all of those people deserve a slap and a pink slip based on the fact that my creations usher in a new millennium of the grotesque, eradicating competition in the categories of: scariness, having lots of teeth, gooeyness, ability to rampage, multiple eyeball-ness, and human brutalization. Now, using the power of a mere piece of software, I can safely say, without fear of hyperbole, that I should be hired to create CGI creatures for all movies from now until eternity and that every puppeteer, computer graphics wizard, and really ugly tall guy in Hollywood should be fired.
Until recently, I didn’t own a copy of Will Wright’s Spore and its expansions. Go back even further and you’ve got classics like Godzilla, The Thing, The Blob, and Outer Space Death Aardvarks (from Outer Space Death Aardvarks I – IX, the unheralded work of an aging Charlie Chaplin, 1949-53). Monster movies, action, horror – these genres spawned some pretty out-of-this-world and hungry creatures, including xenomorphs from Aliens, colossal crab-praying mantis’ from Cloverfield, and, of course, the giant St. Until recently, I was always impressed with the diversity and ferocity of movie monsters.
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